Norm, I'm invincible...like the Black Knight. None shall pass!!!
Last night, somebody in my house made Rice Krispy treats. No big deal really, I enjoy Rice Krispy treats for they are tasty and delicious. But some dumbass printed out a recipe for them off of the internet. I'll take a moment and that sink into your fucking heads.
Done? Great, then let me move on to my rant. First off, let's ignore the fact that every Rice Krispy box ever printed since they came into existence has the recipe printed on the back. The list of ingredients is all of 3 things long: butter (or margarine), Rice Krispies, and fucking marshmallows. How fucking brain dead do you have to be to not figure THIS complicated dish out!? Let's see, butter that's not melted tastes like shit. Marshmallows have no stickiness to them when they're not melted. And I've distinctly heard my Rice Krispies tell me, "snap, crackle, pop, fuck you!"
So let's see, we have 3 ingredients and they all have to join together...you know what? It's just easier for me to say that whomever printed the recipe off the internet is the dumbest fucking human being to EVER walk the earth and needs to be hit in the head with something large, heavy and blunt. I mean, let's be honest. If you can't figure out the complicated chemistry behind marshmallows, butter and Rice Krispies then I literally have no hope for you. And if it was my mom or dad, this does not bode well. I share their genes. Holy shit, if I'm 40 years old, if I have been on this planet for 40 FUCKING YEARS!!!! and I still can't figure out how to make Rice Krispy treats... Jesus Christ, just put a diaper on me and stick me in a nursing home where I will eat tapioca pudding and shit and piss myself while I jack off and fling my cum at the overweight red-headed nurse with cankles, varicose veins, and titty freckles.
And then murder my children, because we all know it'll be a mercy killing. No jury in the world would convict you, ever, ever, ever. Fucking ever. The trial would probably go something like this: "Your Honor, we killed these children because the parents could not make Rice Krispy treats without the use of a recipe. Printed off the internet. That also had FUCKING PICTURES TO HELP THEM OUT!!!!!" The judge would be like, "case dismissed."
Done? Great, then let me move on to my rant. First off, let's ignore the fact that every Rice Krispy box ever printed since they came into existence has the recipe printed on the back. The list of ingredients is all of 3 things long: butter (or margarine), Rice Krispies, and fucking marshmallows. How fucking brain dead do you have to be to not figure THIS complicated dish out!? Let's see, butter that's not melted tastes like shit. Marshmallows have no stickiness to them when they're not melted. And I've distinctly heard my Rice Krispies tell me, "snap, crackle, pop, fuck you!"
So let's see, we have 3 ingredients and they all have to join together...you know what? It's just easier for me to say that whomever printed the recipe off the internet is the dumbest fucking human being to EVER walk the earth and needs to be hit in the head with something large, heavy and blunt. I mean, let's be honest. If you can't figure out the complicated chemistry behind marshmallows, butter and Rice Krispies then I literally have no hope for you. And if it was my mom or dad, this does not bode well. I share their genes. Holy shit, if I'm 40 years old, if I have been on this planet for 40 FUCKING YEARS!!!! and I still can't figure out how to make Rice Krispy treats... Jesus Christ, just put a diaper on me and stick me in a nursing home where I will eat tapioca pudding and shit and piss myself while I jack off and fling my cum at the overweight red-headed nurse with cankles, varicose veins, and titty freckles.
And then murder my children, because we all know it'll be a mercy killing. No jury in the world would convict you, ever, ever, ever. Fucking ever. The trial would probably go something like this: "Your Honor, we killed these children because the parents could not make Rice Krispy treats without the use of a recipe. Printed off the internet. That also had FUCKING PICTURES TO HELP THEM OUT!!!!!" The judge would be like, "case dismissed."
posted by Adam at
1:35 PM
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