This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius!
Sometimes in life, you feel the need to sing and dance. Maybe one of your friends passed the postal exam and you know you got good times comin'. Maybe you just sweet, sweet, glorious love to a beautiful woman. Perhaps you just felt like singing. Whatever the reason, you have a song in your heart, and while walking down the crowded streets of Manhattan, you feel, nay, you HAVE the desire to sing and dance. This is a list of the ten best moments in musical cinematic history. It's time for rock-hard tasty abs...glistening in the sun.
10. Wayne's World Any movie where Alice Cooper gives an education of Mil-we-uak-ee, which is Algonquin for "the good land," is awesome as shit. But when you also have Garth serenading his mysterious lady love with Jimi Hendrix's Foxy Lady, you're dangerously close to breaking the coolness barrier. I think we'll go for a little Bohemian Rhapsody, gentlemen!
9. Little Mermaid Fuck each and every last one of you, I can still sing this song from memory. How can you not want to sing that song? What's wrong with you, motherfucker?!
8. School of Rock You know what seriously rocks hard tasty abs? When you get a band together made up of little kids who, believe it or not, have been playing SINCE THEY WERE 3! They are their own supergroup. They could be the next Led Zeppelin or Cream.
7. Hair This is my answer to whenever someone asks me why I'm growing my hair out. That, and it has all the singing and dancing coming from out of nowhere that everybody loves in musicals.
6. Fiddler on the Roof How can anyone not include this on a list of musical moments? Seriously. That's like making a list of Arnold Scharzenegger's best monsyllabic grunts that are hilarious lines from movies, and not including "I'll be back!" If you do that, then something is wrong with you, motherfucker.
5. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy I love...afternoon delight! And I love singing this song. I'll be at work and start singing this song.
4. The moment when the Spice Girls movie ended. I'm not 100% sure, but I do believe that when you make a movie this bad, some demonic creature gets it's wings. It can be compared to Britney Spears' shitfest, but then again, she's now the biggest laughingstock of all the pop princesses. All those who ended up married to some guy that sucks not only your money, but also the will of every living, breathing NICE guy that has a job, raise your hand. Jesus Christ, Kevin Federline could be compared to the dementors from Harry fuck Potter. I would put a video up for this, but let's be honest, nobody wants to see that. We might can be mentally reminded of a shitstorm known as the Spice Girls movie, but if we were visually reminded of it, I think our brains would come to a screeching halt. And then it would say, "if you're so stupid to be watching something you shouldn't be fucking watching, I will kill you." No, that's not really number 4. Here is number 4. I just had to make fun of something here.
3. Rocky Horror Picture Show Yes, I played Dr. Frank-n-Furter. Shut your piehole. I looked damn sexy in my costume.
2. Almost Famous My son's been kidnapped by rock stars. Semi-autobiographical tale of Cameron Crowe's time when he toured with Led Zeppelin, so you know it's gonna be wicked awesome.
1. Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! (both times I typed out satan, I started out writing Stan. Sad but true. Sad, but fucking true.)
10. Wayne's World Any movie where Alice Cooper gives an education of Mil-we-uak-ee, which is Algonquin for "the good land," is awesome as shit. But when you also have Garth serenading his mysterious lady love with Jimi Hendrix's Foxy Lady, you're dangerously close to breaking the coolness barrier. I think we'll go for a little Bohemian Rhapsody, gentlemen!
9. Little Mermaid Fuck each and every last one of you, I can still sing this song from memory. How can you not want to sing that song? What's wrong with you, motherfucker?!
8. School of Rock You know what seriously rocks hard tasty abs? When you get a band together made up of little kids who, believe it or not, have been playing SINCE THEY WERE 3! They are their own supergroup. They could be the next Led Zeppelin or Cream.
7. Hair This is my answer to whenever someone asks me why I'm growing my hair out. That, and it has all the singing and dancing coming from out of nowhere that everybody loves in musicals.
6. Fiddler on the Roof How can anyone not include this on a list of musical moments? Seriously. That's like making a list of Arnold Scharzenegger's best monsyllabic grunts that are hilarious lines from movies, and not including "I'll be back!" If you do that, then something is wrong with you, motherfucker.
5. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy I love...afternoon delight! And I love singing this song. I'll be at work and start singing this song.
4. The moment when the Spice Girls movie ended. I'm not 100% sure, but I do believe that when you make a movie this bad, some demonic creature gets it's wings. It can be compared to Britney Spears' shitfest, but then again, she's now the biggest laughingstock of all the pop princesses. All those who ended up married to some guy that sucks not only your money, but also the will of every living, breathing NICE guy that has a job, raise your hand. Jesus Christ, Kevin Federline could be compared to the dementors from Harry fuck Potter. I would put a video up for this, but let's be honest, nobody wants to see that. We might can be mentally reminded of a shitstorm known as the Spice Girls movie, but if we were visually reminded of it, I think our brains would come to a screeching halt. And then it would say, "if you're so stupid to be watching something you shouldn't be fucking watching, I will kill you." No, that's not really number 4. Here is number 4. I just had to make fun of something here.
3. Rocky Horror Picture Show Yes, I played Dr. Frank-n-Furter. Shut your piehole. I looked damn sexy in my costume.
2. Almost Famous My son's been kidnapped by rock stars. Semi-autobiographical tale of Cameron Crowe's time when he toured with Led Zeppelin, so you know it's gonna be wicked awesome.
1. Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! (both times I typed out satan, I started out writing Stan. Sad but true. Sad, but fucking true.)
posted by Adam at
3:30 PM
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