I wish I was working at Marvel right about now, true believers.

This is an exciting time to be in the comic book industry. Marvel alone has made the past year one of the best times to be a comic fan. House of M, The Other, DeciMation, the Ultimates, Ultimate Spider-Man, and Astonishing X-Men (which has seen the resurgence of the Hellfire Club). And now, Civil War, which has the Marvel heroes fighting each other. Oh yeah. I know some people won't know what I'm talking about, so I'll give you a recap on all those things in a bit. I'm not done drooling. On the DC side of the fence, we have seen the return of not only the Joker (in an almost year long absence) but also the Joker's original villain persona of the Red Hood.

In the form of Jason Todd. Who was killed by the Joker in 1989. But he's back, and he's an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. He toyed with Batman for a very long time, slowly taking over the underworld and pissing off DC villains left, right and center. So this eventually leads to a showdown where Jason is going to force Batman to kill either him...or the Joker. And it ends with a bang, where for a year, Batman leaves Gotham in the hands of Two-Face, aka, Harvey Dent?! And Jason heads to New York and takes over the mantle of Nightwing with Dick Grayson's knowledge?! DC has finally gotten their shit together too.

Now for recaps. SPOILERS!!!!!! BIG HONKING SPOILERS, SO IF YOU PLAN TO READ THE BOOKS, QUIT READING THIS RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW!!!

House of M: Wanda Maximoff (Scarlett Witch) and her brother, Pietro are the children of Magneto. Wanda has the ability to change reality and tip the scales in her favor. But then she has a nervous breakdown and kills Hawkeye, an original member of the Avengers. So the X-Men and the Avengers decide to do something about Wanda. They decide to kill her. But not before Pietro convinces her to use her powers to give all the heroes what they really want. For mutants, they are really homo superior, running the human race. For Spidey, he is loved by all of New York and is married to Gwen Stacy, and spends time with his son and Uncle Ben. Cyclops and Emma Frost are married to one another. But then it all comes crashing down when they figure out what happened through the help of Lola, a mutant. The book ends with a huge fight and Wanda simply uttering 3 little words. "No More Mutants." Then the world goes to white, and when they wake up, 97% of Marvel's mutants are gone. Their mutant powers have been stripped from them, and it ends with many mutants that were once high and mighty being no more. The best part? Nobody knows where Xavier is during all this. He could be dead, he could incapacitated, he could be in Bermuda with his brother and sister, living the good life.

In The Other, Peter Parker dies. Killed by an attack from Morbius. Then, while in a cocoon/afterlife-ish type place, he is approached by a creature that looks like a cross between Venom and Carnage. And he is asked, "what happens when you cross a spider...with a man?" Then he's brought back to life with new powers. Very awesome indeed. DeciMation dealt with the events following House of M.

Essentially I am wicked excited about the stuff going on in Marvel right now.

Any attempt to make any system idiot proof will only challenge God to make a better idiot.

I'd love to tell the Democrats that following that line, there's a rant about Republicans and Bush on the way, but that would make me a liar.

I'd love to tell the Republicans that following that line, there's a rant about Republican stupidity on the way so they can bitch at me for not being a true American, but that also would make me a liar.

I'd love to tell my readers that following that line, the best of the "Wendy" posts will be reproduced here just for the fuck out it, but that would also make me a liar.

I'd love to tell my readers that following that line, Tom Cruise or some other celebrity is about to be raked across the coals because I can, but that too would make me a liar.

No, following that line, I am here to tell you, first-hand, that putting a sock in the microwave for 8 minutes will set it on fire. Well, no one told me that you can't do that; after all, the microwave is so good at warming other things up.

I was at work, and had to spray out the dairy cooler. In doing so, my socks and shoes got soaked. So I put my sock in the microwave for 8 minutes in an effort to dry it. 7:30 later, I smelled something funny and ran to the microwave to find my sock on fire. Like, flaming on fire. Complete with a yellow, acidic smoke. It was hilarious, I had never done anything like that before ever. I'm the kind of guy who wrote a letter to Kellogg's asking why the fuck they had to put instructions on the packages of Pop-Tarts.

At least now I have matching pairs of socks.

War! It's fantastic!

I love that line. It's from Hot Shots: Part Deux. That's the number 2 in French for the morons (HI WENDY!) out there.

So I should probably send a fruit basket or something to American Idol. Thanks to them, I can hate again. For those in the area of Marshall/Shreveport, you get to hear k94.5. And if you listen in the mornings, you get to hear this one douchebag motherfucker that cannot seem to understand that American Idol is not racist. Every fucking time the show comes on and Taylor Hicks makes it another step towards being an Idol, he gets more and more upset. I guess he wants only black people to win. So I wrote this stupid son of a bitch an email because I have nothing better to do with my time except hate on stupidity (HI WENDY!) and think of new things to say on-stage. That's right, I'm going to do stand-up comedy again. You heard it hear first. Unless you're Norm, then you heard it a long time ago.

So, without further ado, the email and some videos I found that are awesome.

I have listened twice to your on-air rants about how American Idol is racist. And I must say...please stop. Please. I have always known that you and AG were two of the dumbest motherfuckers, but then you lapped yourself in the dumbass race of life with your American Idol is racist. Now, I could call you a loser and retard for deciding to pick a topic as important as race relations from watching the most insipid, asinine television show to ever be produced in the long, sad history of bad television. I could also call you a retard for basically admitting on the air that your life is a rich fucking oyster because your nights are spent watching that show and wondering how Taylor Hicks has made it that far.

First of all, no, the show isn't racist. If the show was racist, then Ruben Studdard and that fat-ass Fantasia would have NEVER won. Never, ever, ever, fucking ever. Just for thinking that makes you a fool. Even this year, with Paris being voted off, doesn't make it racist. America has proven that it always has and always will love no-talent ass clowns, and must have them entertain them. Just the fact that American Idol has survived 5 seasons thus far is proof of that.

Second, voodoo doesn't work. I've tried it with you. If it did, you'd come in one day and say on the air, "I dunno how it happened, but I woke up this morning with no right leg and no right arm. And what's more amazing is, I feel no pain whatsoever. It's so bizarre!" If voodoo worked, then Britney Spears would be having sex with me right now, instead of me writing this long ass email that I'm gonna post on my blog with a backstory of your stupidity. Because that's how I would use my voodoo powers: to have hot, sweaty, squishy sex with females that I think are slutty.

Third, the show isn't racist because Americans vote for the contestants. Oh, right, you might wanna use that logic against me in saying that the Americans then are racist. Really? The country that is responsible for the oppression and slavery of blacks for a few hundred years is racist?! Get right out of town! No, really, leave. Go to a town that isn't in my car's ability to pick you up. That way, I can listen in the mornings, when the good music is on, and in the afternoons, when Bristol is on. And she never really plays good music because the program director is smart, and just let's her talk, 'cause she's got a sexy ass voice. Also, I wouldn't call the people who listen to you every morning racist. I'd call them retarded as fuck, but not racist.

Fourth, no, I don't listen to you or the other retard at all in the mornings. When you two come on, I mute my stereo quicker than Micheal Jackson goes for the 13-year-old boys. I'd rather listen to the death rattle of my only child than listen to you two pretend to be funny, insightful, witty, smart, and any other good adjective you two aren't.

The gist of my argument is that the show isn't racist, and you're a fool to think it is. You're a dumb fool to argue this on-air as much and as often as you do. It's like I said earlier, we as Americans demand to be entertained by stuff that is filled to the brim with no-talent having motherfuckers. This is why Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider continue to make movies, when in any rationally thinking country, like Canada or England, they'd be asking, "would you like chips with that?"

So please stop. For the love of humanity, stop.


*Here I wrote my name, and where I live, but let's be honest, we already know that.*



And no, you can't have my blog address which would normally appear right here. You have to earn the right to read it, because I have deem you smart enough. *I wrote this because my emails have the signature of my blog address. I didn't want him to be able to read it because, well, he's dumb*


It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!

You know how I know you're gay? You have a sticker on your car that says "I like it when balls are in my face!"

You can never have too much Superman.