I'm Ron Burgundy?
"Dammit! How many times have I told you people? Don't mess with the teleprompter! He will read whatever you put up there!"
I'll give Brad Hicks and the latest anti-gaming, anti-pedophile crusade this: at least he ain't saying that gamers are also VIOLENT pedophiles. I'll assume that you went and watched that bit of news journalism, instead of just skipping ahead and reading my rant. Let's go through why that is a great example of why Brad Hicks shouldn't be allowed to have a fucking job, let alone pro-create. Because oh my, God, are there flaws in this story.
1. The pedophile needs to have a Nintendo DS. Which, admittedly, ain't that hard. I checked at various websites, and the average cost of a DS is around $130 (US). But after buying a DS, they then need to carry theirs with them at all times, and have it perptually charged.
2. Next the victim also needs to have a Nintendo DS. And also carry it around with them at all times and keep it perpetually charged. This is kind of akin to walking down rows of houses, and looking to see which homes have windows, so that the pedophiles can molest them through the windows.
3. In order for the driving a car scenario to work (the one that was mentioned in the video; see, I'm referencing things that you didn't see and are confused about. Go check out the video), the pedophile needs to not be driving, that way, he doesn't get into an accident. 'Cause car wrecks will fuck with the way you molest the Catholics.
4. When you admit that the girls knew that it was you sending them messages, it kind of takes away from the power of showing what it can be used for. And let's be honest, you contacted them for the story, so they knew it was you doing it all for the sake of some hokey bullshit story.
5. Nintendo told, to numerous gaming magazines, that in order for Pictochat to work, you need a little something called friend codes. Your friend gives you their code, you can send them messages. No code, no message. This is called the transitive property, in algebraic terms, you fucknut.
6. This is the kind of news story I'd expect to see on the Daily Show, with Stephen Colbert doing the reporting. Including the "well, stop the music" line. I know Stephen Colbert, and you sir, are no Stephen Colbert.
You want to show a legitimate way for pedophiles to molest your kids, you show your kids hanging out, alone at the mall or at school or at church. You know, places where pedophiles have been known to hang out. They stopped doing the whole video game thing way back in the '80s when they realized the pickin's were quite low. You don't get sexy, supple pre-pubescent kids there. You get fat, zit covered teens and young adults arguing who fucked Princess Daisy first: Luigi or Mario. Unless Koopa got himself some of that top-shelf video game pussy, 'cause we all know that Daisy has that Stockholm Syndrome. How the fuck else would she keep allowing herself to be kidnapped!?!?
I'll give Brad Hicks and the latest anti-gaming, anti-pedophile crusade this: at least he ain't saying that gamers are also VIOLENT pedophiles. I'll assume that you went and watched that bit of news journalism, instead of just skipping ahead and reading my rant. Let's go through why that is a great example of why Brad Hicks shouldn't be allowed to have a fucking job, let alone pro-create. Because oh my, God, are there flaws in this story.
1. The pedophile needs to have a Nintendo DS. Which, admittedly, ain't that hard. I checked at various websites, and the average cost of a DS is around $130 (US). But after buying a DS, they then need to carry theirs with them at all times, and have it perptually charged.
2. Next the victim also needs to have a Nintendo DS. And also carry it around with them at all times and keep it perpetually charged. This is kind of akin to walking down rows of houses, and looking to see which homes have windows, so that the pedophiles can molest them through the windows.
3. In order for the driving a car scenario to work (the one that was mentioned in the video; see, I'm referencing things that you didn't see and are confused about. Go check out the video), the pedophile needs to not be driving, that way, he doesn't get into an accident. 'Cause car wrecks will fuck with the way you molest the Catholics.
4. When you admit that the girls knew that it was you sending them messages, it kind of takes away from the power of showing what it can be used for. And let's be honest, you contacted them for the story, so they knew it was you doing it all for the sake of some hokey bullshit story.
5. Nintendo told, to numerous gaming magazines, that in order for Pictochat to work, you need a little something called friend codes. Your friend gives you their code, you can send them messages. No code, no message. This is called the transitive property, in algebraic terms, you fucknut.
6. This is the kind of news story I'd expect to see on the Daily Show, with Stephen Colbert doing the reporting. Including the "well, stop the music" line. I know Stephen Colbert, and you sir, are no Stephen Colbert.
You want to show a legitimate way for pedophiles to molest your kids, you show your kids hanging out, alone at the mall or at school or at church. You know, places where pedophiles have been known to hang out. They stopped doing the whole video game thing way back in the '80s when they realized the pickin's were quite low. You don't get sexy, supple pre-pubescent kids there. You get fat, zit covered teens and young adults arguing who fucked Princess Daisy first: Luigi or Mario. Unless Koopa got himself some of that top-shelf video game pussy, 'cause we all know that Daisy has that Stockholm Syndrome. How the fuck else would she keep allowing herself to be kidnapped!?!?
posted by Adam at
7:44 PM
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