How many college bands can you listen to?!?
I ask this only because earlier, while trying to peruse the latest movie trailers online, this one fucker just kept watching these college marching bands AT THE HIGHEST FUCKING VOLUME YOU CAN TURN YOUR COMPUTER ON!!!
And so I asked him, very politely, "hey, do you mind like turning that shit right the fuck down? I'm trying to watch some trailers at a reasonable volume, but I can't hear them because you have to listen to some shitty college marching band play some bullshit song that's been marching band-ized so people won't leave during HALFTIME!"
And he said no, so I went to my room, grabbed a hammer, came back and smashed the monitor AND tower so he couldn't watch them anymore.
Not really, no, but I did tell him that if he didn't stop, I may have to take the monitor and break it over his fucking head. Perhaps I was harsh, but seriously, once you've seen one college marching band, you've pretty much seen them all. The only things that change are the costumes and maybe what shitty songs they play, and that's about it. Because of the movie Drumline, suddenly, every single school is a Grambling wanna-be, so they trot the fuck out there, acting like they're 100 black people that have fucking rhythm, and they don't. But apparently, he doesn't like me threatening him, so he asks if I want to step outside.
"Yes, I'd love for you to step the fuck outside so I can watch at least one trailer. Just turn it the fuck down! The volumes controls are like Taco Bell cups! That is to say, a medium is really a large and a large is a "holy fuck, however can I drink all this?!"
I hate Natchitoches. I hate the college students that permeate this town like a plague of zombies that love MTV and wear Abercrombie and Fitch. I hate the fact that the town never had the foresight to build the town, instead of AROUND the train tracks, thus splitting the town into three different places that make it exceedingly difficult to get around (the river is number three in that regards), but rather, like most other towns by placing the tracks on the outskirts. I hate the fact that the people travel no faster than 10 miles an hour. Let's just say that at this point, if a terrorist wanted to blow Natchitoches right the fuck up, I'd say, "hey, Jack Bauer. Chill out on this one. Trust me, we won't be missing much."
They seriously have a railroad track right in the middle of town, splitting one side of town into two sections. And the best part of that is that you cannot bypass it, should a train decide it needs to transport goods to the needy folks of wherever. So let's assume you actually get over the tracks. You now have two options: stay straight, or turn left. If you stay straight, you get to go through a 4-way stop that defies all normal nature of a 4-way stop. That is to say, it's slower than two old people fucking. But if you turn left, at any time of the day other than, say, 5 am, it's pretty much jammed full of cars. It's like nobody but me sees the huge problem with this town.
Oh, and I was called negative the other day. Yes. Yes, I am. I am a negative asshole. I enjoy it. I revel in it. There is nothing I love more than being a complete and total dick to everyone, regardless of how nice they are to me. Why? Because it keeps you fuckers away from me.
And so I asked him, very politely, "hey, do you mind like turning that shit right the fuck down? I'm trying to watch some trailers at a reasonable volume, but I can't hear them because you have to listen to some shitty college marching band play some bullshit song that's been marching band-ized so people won't leave during HALFTIME!"
And he said no, so I went to my room, grabbed a hammer, came back and smashed the monitor AND tower so he couldn't watch them anymore.
Not really, no, but I did tell him that if he didn't stop, I may have to take the monitor and break it over his fucking head. Perhaps I was harsh, but seriously, once you've seen one college marching band, you've pretty much seen them all. The only things that change are the costumes and maybe what shitty songs they play, and that's about it. Because of the movie Drumline, suddenly, every single school is a Grambling wanna-be, so they trot the fuck out there, acting like they're 100 black people that have fucking rhythm, and they don't. But apparently, he doesn't like me threatening him, so he asks if I want to step outside.
"Yes, I'd love for you to step the fuck outside so I can watch at least one trailer. Just turn it the fuck down! The volumes controls are like Taco Bell cups! That is to say, a medium is really a large and a large is a "holy fuck, however can I drink all this?!"
I hate Natchitoches. I hate the college students that permeate this town like a plague of zombies that love MTV and wear Abercrombie and Fitch. I hate the fact that the town never had the foresight to build the town, instead of AROUND the train tracks, thus splitting the town into three different places that make it exceedingly difficult to get around (the river is number three in that regards), but rather, like most other towns by placing the tracks on the outskirts. I hate the fact that the people travel no faster than 10 miles an hour. Let's just say that at this point, if a terrorist wanted to blow Natchitoches right the fuck up, I'd say, "hey, Jack Bauer. Chill out on this one. Trust me, we won't be missing much."
They seriously have a railroad track right in the middle of town, splitting one side of town into two sections. And the best part of that is that you cannot bypass it, should a train decide it needs to transport goods to the needy folks of wherever. So let's assume you actually get over the tracks. You now have two options: stay straight, or turn left. If you stay straight, you get to go through a 4-way stop that defies all normal nature of a 4-way stop. That is to say, it's slower than two old people fucking. But if you turn left, at any time of the day other than, say, 5 am, it's pretty much jammed full of cars. It's like nobody but me sees the huge problem with this town.
Oh, and I was called negative the other day. Yes. Yes, I am. I am a negative asshole. I enjoy it. I revel in it. There is nothing I love more than being a complete and total dick to everyone, regardless of how nice they are to me. Why? Because it keeps you fuckers away from me.
posted by Adam at
9:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home