And then, on the 8th day, God created Mel Gibson's temper. And it was fiery.
So I was watching Braveheart the other day, and I gotta tell you, if this movie isn't based on complete and total historical fact, then I just don't ever wanna see it again.
Before I continue, let me apologize. I meant to blog the other day, but because the niggers who live around the apartment complex take over this place on the weekends (this place being the computer labs), I couldn't use a single computer. Let me also say that if you're offended by my use of that word, I say fuck you. Let's see you live in a place where they descend like locusts every weekend in a place they don't live, using facilities they don't pay for. It's like if they went to your house, and just made themselves at home.
Anyways. I'm watching Braveheart, and I just realized my favorite scene. It's not when William Wallace survey's the battleground and just screams, or when Longshanks pushes his son's gay lover (which really must've pissed him off, knowing that his son was the bottom) out of a window in a high-fuck-castle. It's when the English lord kills Wallace's wife and then says, "now let this scrapper come to me." Dude, that is a brave man. Brave, but stupid as all fuck. 'Cause then the scrapper does come. And fucks you and every Englishmen between Scotland and France up. I mean, he really fucks you up.
Look, all I'm saying is that when you kill a man's wife and then say, "now let him come to me" can be considered in the same ballpark as kicking Chuck Norris in the nuts as a way to start the greatest ass-kicking in the history of ass-kicking. Unless it was Laci Peterson you killed. Then I bet right about now, Scott would love you. Not love like the ass-fuckin' he's probably getting right now. Love like, "my new friend!"
Some dude in Japan is 111-years-old. His secret? Who fucking cares? He's a 111-years-old. He's just some old fucker who will do nothing but complain about how shit isn't the same, and then want his porridge. That's it. The picture they showed of him also made him look like an old mean bastard. That's probably his secret to longevity: being an asshole. If that's the case, hurray for me!
Anyways. Fat girl (Norm knows who I'm talking about) is playing loud, annoying ass rap music. So I'm gonna go.
Before I continue, let me apologize. I meant to blog the other day, but because the niggers who live around the apartment complex take over this place on the weekends (this place being the computer labs), I couldn't use a single computer. Let me also say that if you're offended by my use of that word, I say fuck you. Let's see you live in a place where they descend like locusts every weekend in a place they don't live, using facilities they don't pay for. It's like if they went to your house, and just made themselves at home.
Anyways. I'm watching Braveheart, and I just realized my favorite scene. It's not when William Wallace survey's the battleground and just screams, or when Longshanks pushes his son's gay lover (which really must've pissed him off, knowing that his son was the bottom) out of a window in a high-fuck-castle. It's when the English lord kills Wallace's wife and then says, "now let this scrapper come to me." Dude, that is a brave man. Brave, but stupid as all fuck. 'Cause then the scrapper does come. And fucks you and every Englishmen between Scotland and France up. I mean, he really fucks you up.
Look, all I'm saying is that when you kill a man's wife and then say, "now let him come to me" can be considered in the same ballpark as kicking Chuck Norris in the nuts as a way to start the greatest ass-kicking in the history of ass-kicking. Unless it was Laci Peterson you killed. Then I bet right about now, Scott would love you. Not love like the ass-fuckin' he's probably getting right now. Love like, "my new friend!"
Some dude in Japan is 111-years-old. His secret? Who fucking cares? He's a 111-years-old. He's just some old fucker who will do nothing but complain about how shit isn't the same, and then want his porridge. That's it. The picture they showed of him also made him look like an old mean bastard. That's probably his secret to longevity: being an asshole. If that's the case, hurray for me!
Anyways. Fat girl (Norm knows who I'm talking about) is playing loud, annoying ass rap music. So I'm gonna go.
posted by Adam at
10:07 AM
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