This movie is so bad, it goes beyond bad, and right into the land of shitty shitty shitty.

So I watched The Skulls. Again. For those of you who have never seen it, it's about a guy who joins a secret society, only to want to leave, after a cover-up. And a bad cover-up, too. Nothing like the JFK conspiracy or anything like, oh no. See, here's what happens: Luke McNamara (played by total 'mo Joshua Jackson) wants to join the secret society known as the Skulls, loosely based on real life secret society Skull and Bones, which our current president is/was a member of.

He wants to join the society because his mom died in a car accident (in a deleted scene, she abandoned him for unknown reasons, except that if she hadn't, there might not have been a movie. BITCH!!!), because if he does, they'll pay for law school, and that's what he really wants to be, but can pay for himself because he's constantly broke since his mom died/abandoned him! *takes deep breath like Ace Ventura when he solves a case*

Anyways. So his friends (played by Leslie Bibb and some black dude that's on CSI: New York) know that he wants to join the Skulls, and why he wants to join the Skulls. But herein lies the problem: because they're not true friends, when he joins, they act like dicks. Especially the black dude, who's name was Will Beckford. Will was doing an expose on the Skulls, and even broke into another Skull's car to steal his rule book and key to the ritual room. Unfortunately, that's when things go bad, and he ends up dead. How he ends up dead isn't really important, because it's all a cover up that's poorly written and thought out. Let's just say that he runs from Caleb Mandrake (Paul Walker), and accidentally falls down and is dying before Christopher Martin's character (we'll call him Shooter McGavin, in honor of the greatest movie villain of all time) comes in and finishes the job. 'Cause all that happens.

And I say, FUCK WILL BECKFORD! That son of a bitch knew what being a Skull meant to Luke. I got news for you: he was an asshole, not Luke's friend. For 3 years, that was Luke's fondest wish, to be a Skull. That, and to touch Leslie Bibb's boobie. After all, who doesn't enjoy touching boobies? And then Will, having to be all sneaky Mcjournalist, illegally breaks into a car and trespasses onto private property, all because he can't join a club for white kids.

Your so called best friend wants to join a secret society and you're initial reaction is to act like a little bitch and ruin his good time? Explain to me why Joshua Jackson spends even 5 minutes mourning the loss of this douchebag. Personally, I'd have been like, "you know what? You're right, this is bullshit. He broke into your pimpmobile, stole personal items, broke into here, and acted like a douchebag when something good had FINALLY come into my miserable existence I call a life. Fuck him, give me that check, and here: I wanna go to Harvard Law."

But no, instead of manning the fuck up and realizing that his "best friend" was acting like a little bitch, he cries and sets out to solve the murder. And then, he shows up, acting all bad-ass and they're like, "he came to pick up his check. Sweet." But still he picks fights.

Dude. Shut the fuck up, pour you some scotch, take a seat and RELAX! Solve the fucking murder, what's gonna happen? Nothing. He's dead and no longer ruining what friendship you did have by being a dickhead.

So to wrap this up: Paris Hilton is in jail, I enjoy strippers WAY too much and The Skulls is a horrible movie. Horrible, angry, young movie.