A memorial for 9/11.
Oh yeah, I missed the 11th. Well, not really. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until about 7 this morning.
Bin Laden is a pussy. A big, stinking, cow-lipped, dirty pussy. What he did is akin to a little brother picking a fight with somebody older and bigger than him, then letting you, the older brother, deal with the shit falling from the industrial sized fan.
He picked a fight with America, right after we elected Yosemite fuck Sam to be our leader, then hid like a little girl.
"OK, so, here's the deal: I'll train you to fly planes filled with Americans, oh, how I hate those fucks! Anyways, the planes will crash, killing you and those dastardly, assholish Americans. For your troubles, you shall be rewarded in Heaven with 73 women that Chuck Norris (fucker!!!) has already had sex with. Because, thanks to him, there are no more virgins on Earth.
What I will do is hide, and stay on the run from America's troops. Meanwhile, they will literally fuck the entire Middle East up. If you're brown, named Muhammed or have a hint of Middle Eastern in you, you'll end up dead. Sound good?"
Meanwhile, Ensign McRedShirt is nodding and agreeing because bin Laden has an AK-47 sitting in his lap, but in his head, he's thinking, "wait, you're gonna pull the biggest puss-out in human history, while I get blowed the fuck up? The more I say it, the more I like it. Mark me down for a yes."
I say this because, at least according to the rednecks who believe everything Bush tells them, this is exactly the type of discord that the terrorists thrive upon. I say this because awhile back, somebody called into "SpeakOut!" (something that appears in my dad's newspaper) because there was an editorial cartoon a few days before that made fun of Bush. Nobody at my dad's newspaper wrote or drew it, it was aquired through the use of the AP wire and Rutgers Wire. Or some other way.
They said, stupidly, that terrorists read the newspapers and saw us making fun of Bush and that the terrorists, sitting alone in their bunkers, realized that made us better targets. Bullshit. Terrorists hate us because of the simple fact that they have the mindset of a 13-year-old schoolyard bully in that if we don't like them, we must somehow be against them.
Also, because we like their enemies, and that somehow means we must also dislike them. And we do. We are literally the most advanced nation in terms of beer, porn, entertainment, the media, and useless gadgets. Any other country come up with the iPod or iPhone? But we dislike terrorists because we think we know better, and in all honesty, if we had just shut the fuck up and turned a blind eye to the horrors of third world countries and terrorist nations who think that the only answer is to kill your opposite while we pumped the oil, we'd probably be fine. Probably.
Bin Laden is a pussy. A big, stinking, cow-lipped, dirty pussy. What he did is akin to a little brother picking a fight with somebody older and bigger than him, then letting you, the older brother, deal with the shit falling from the industrial sized fan.
He picked a fight with America, right after we elected Yosemite fuck Sam to be our leader, then hid like a little girl.
"OK, so, here's the deal: I'll train you to fly planes filled with Americans, oh, how I hate those fucks! Anyways, the planes will crash, killing you and those dastardly, assholish Americans. For your troubles, you shall be rewarded in Heaven with 73 women that Chuck Norris (fucker!!!) has already had sex with. Because, thanks to him, there are no more virgins on Earth.
What I will do is hide, and stay on the run from America's troops. Meanwhile, they will literally fuck the entire Middle East up. If you're brown, named Muhammed or have a hint of Middle Eastern in you, you'll end up dead. Sound good?"
Meanwhile, Ensign McRedShirt is nodding and agreeing because bin Laden has an AK-47 sitting in his lap, but in his head, he's thinking, "wait, you're gonna pull the biggest puss-out in human history, while I get blowed the fuck up? The more I say it, the more I like it. Mark me down for a yes."
I say this because, at least according to the rednecks who believe everything Bush tells them, this is exactly the type of discord that the terrorists thrive upon. I say this because awhile back, somebody called into "SpeakOut!" (something that appears in my dad's newspaper) because there was an editorial cartoon a few days before that made fun of Bush. Nobody at my dad's newspaper wrote or drew it, it was aquired through the use of the AP wire and Rutgers Wire. Or some other way.
They said, stupidly, that terrorists read the newspapers and saw us making fun of Bush and that the terrorists, sitting alone in their bunkers, realized that made us better targets. Bullshit. Terrorists hate us because of the simple fact that they have the mindset of a 13-year-old schoolyard bully in that if we don't like them, we must somehow be against them.
Also, because we like their enemies, and that somehow means we must also dislike them. And we do. We are literally the most advanced nation in terms of beer, porn, entertainment, the media, and useless gadgets. Any other country come up with the iPod or iPhone? But we dislike terrorists because we think we know better, and in all honesty, if we had just shut the fuck up and turned a blind eye to the horrors of third world countries and terrorist nations who think that the only answer is to kill your opposite while we pumped the oil, we'd probably be fine. Probably.
posted by Adam at
12:48 PM
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