So long, you Kentucky fried hooker.
So Anna Nicole Smith has died. She was 39. Nobody cares.
Wait, let me rephrase that: I don't care. You know why I don't care? Because she's just another celebrity. Seriously, who gives a shit about her?
"You do, otherwise why would you blog about it?"
I'm blogging about her death, not her. When she was alive, she was the target of numerous jokes and tabloids, and now that she's dead, all of a sudden everybody loves her. That's some bullshit right there. It's like no matter how bad you got ripped in life, when you die, unless you're Hitler, then everybody loves you. Then again, he was a genocidal fuckhead, wasn't he?
In the past year, she's accomplished a lot. in 2006, I mean, not this year. She takes her case to the Supreme fuck Court and they ruled in her favor. She gives birth to a daughter, and her son dies in the same time span. And then two guys fight over who the baby's daddy is. That has happened to nobody else in the entire span of the human race.
Somewhere, J. Howard Marshall's sons are like, "well, fuck. This is good." Not that they ever had to worry. Anna Nicole would have never gotten any of that money. He spent enough on her when they were married, she wasn't getting jackshit when he died. Also somewhere, a woman who filed suit against Smith and Trimspa is all kinds of pissed off.
"Thank you, God, for this M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong turn of events," she said sarcastically.
But I digress. Why do people get all nice when somebody dies? Like death automatically is supposed to make us nicer. Fuck you. When I die, people better tell the truth at my funeral.
"He was an asshole. A huge asshole. But he was a friend. And he wouldn't want us acting all sad and shit. In fact, he said that when he dies, there'd better be a keg and enough liquor to intoxicate a small army. So I suggest we move this wake to the bar."
Not some bullshit where I meant well or other crap like that. Fuck you, I might've meant well, but let's tell the truth. Let's not sugarcoat death or the dead. It's not like I'm gonna get up and kick your ass for saying mean things about me. I'm dead, you fucknut, what can I do?!
My only regret is that I didn't get a crack at that pussy. I'd have torn that shit UP, SON!
Wait, let me rephrase that: I don't care. You know why I don't care? Because she's just another celebrity. Seriously, who gives a shit about her?
"You do, otherwise why would you blog about it?"
I'm blogging about her death, not her. When she was alive, she was the target of numerous jokes and tabloids, and now that she's dead, all of a sudden everybody loves her. That's some bullshit right there. It's like no matter how bad you got ripped in life, when you die, unless you're Hitler, then everybody loves you. Then again, he was a genocidal fuckhead, wasn't he?
In the past year, she's accomplished a lot. in 2006, I mean, not this year. She takes her case to the Supreme fuck Court and they ruled in her favor. She gives birth to a daughter, and her son dies in the same time span. And then two guys fight over who the baby's daddy is. That has happened to nobody else in the entire span of the human race.
Somewhere, J. Howard Marshall's sons are like, "well, fuck. This is good." Not that they ever had to worry. Anna Nicole would have never gotten any of that money. He spent enough on her when they were married, she wasn't getting jackshit when he died. Also somewhere, a woman who filed suit against Smith and Trimspa is all kinds of pissed off.
"Thank you, God, for this M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong turn of events," she said sarcastically.
But I digress. Why do people get all nice when somebody dies? Like death automatically is supposed to make us nicer. Fuck you. When I die, people better tell the truth at my funeral.
"He was an asshole. A huge asshole. But he was a friend. And he wouldn't want us acting all sad and shit. In fact, he said that when he dies, there'd better be a keg and enough liquor to intoxicate a small army. So I suggest we move this wake to the bar."
Not some bullshit where I meant well or other crap like that. Fuck you, I might've meant well, but let's tell the truth. Let's not sugarcoat death or the dead. It's not like I'm gonna get up and kick your ass for saying mean things about me. I'm dead, you fucknut, what can I do?!
My only regret is that I didn't get a crack at that pussy. I'd have torn that shit UP, SON!
posted by Adam at
7:19 PM
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